


don’t believe everything you see

by riversritual



Series: River’s Quiet Little Mountain Town AU (South Park) [18]
Category: South Park
Genre: cartman is a shithead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2020-10-25
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:54:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27190702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/riversritual/pseuds/riversritual
Summary: When Eric Cartman goes too far, it’s up to certain girls to teach him a lesson
Series: River’s Quiet Little Mountain Town AU (South Park) [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2114889
Kudos: 2





	1. Chapter 1

Kyle woke up one morning to quite a few things.

1\. Kylie in the room next door screaming at someone over the phone.

2\. His own phone flooded with notifications

3\. Dozens of missed calls from a number of different people: Stan, Kenny, Wendy, Token

“-and I swear to god Erica, I see your fat piece of shit brother today wandering around like nothing’s wrong, I’ll kill him!” Kylie warned, then silence. She was done screaming, and appeared in the doorway.

“Have you seen it yet?”

Obviously not. “Seen what?”

She winced. “Your Twitter got hacked by a certain fat fuck last night and then the tweets were screenshotted and shared.”

No more had to be said.

Kyle instantly sat up, and grabbed his phone. “Oh god, how bad is it?”

“Pretty bad, the stupid thing is that no one sees how fake they are,” Kylie replied. “I think everyone’s blocked you by now, apart from Stacy, Kendra, Erica and I.”

Text from Stan: ‘dude I can’t believe you wtf’

“Oh god, can you show me the screenshots?”

Kylie was hesitant at first, another warning as to how bad they were, before she handed over her phone.

Oh they were horrible, they were so clearly Cartman’s words, they were terrible.

He handed the phone back to his sister, and let out a shaky breath. “And they all think I said those things?”

“Yep. I saw through them, I’m going at your defence however long I need to until these people start seeing sense, but I think you should fake a fever and stay off today.”

Kyle sighed and nodded, lying back down. He trusted Kylie’s word, she was probably one of the only people he could rely on right now.

She hugged him briefly before heading back out the room, but stopping again at the doorway and turning. “Can you do me a small favor if you can, though?”

“.....sure.”

“Okay, well Erica’s gonna steal her brother’s phone but we’re gonna need our best hacker to help us get the proof we need, so...you in?”

It would be more trouble, but he was already paying for things he didn’t do, so....

“Yeah, I’m in.”

..........

“I can’t believe they’re that fucking stupid,” Kendra huffed, as the four girls walked to the high school. “Like, this morning? Kenny tried to tell Karen not to go near your house, but even she knows the tweets are fake. Oh my god, they had a whole screaming match about it, she took my place.”

Kylie sighed. “Yeah, I told him to stay at home today. I’m not talking to anyone who believes that shit, he’s my family and no one messes with my family.”

“So if it happened with any of us you’d fight to prove our innocence? Even Erica?” Stacy asked.

“Hey, I didn’t know he was going to do it!” the brunette said in defence.

“Yeah,” Kylie agreed, “and you’re a bad liar anyway. But if it happened and you truly didn’t do it yourself, then yeah, I would.”

“By the way! Here,” Erica passed a brown paper bag into the redhead’s handed, “I’m sorry, it was the only way.”

The blonde looked in the bag and burst out laughing. “Is that....is that what I think it is?”

Kylie groaned when she saw it. “I cannot fucking believe this.”

“What is it?” Stacy asked above Kendra’s ongoing laughter.

“She sneaked the phone out in a box that a fucking vibrator came in!”

“What do you expect!? I had limited time to work with!” Erica argued.

Kylie groaned once more. “Please tel me no one asked you what the bag is for....”

The silence from the brunette speaker more laughter from the blonde.

Stacy pinched the bridge of her nose. “Let’s just go to school so we can ignore everyone, okay?”

Kylie huffed and took Kendra by the hand, pulling her along as she continued to laugh.

The raven waited until her anger-filled best friend was out of earshot, and said, “It was pretty funny, don’t tell her I said that.”

Erica beamed, and the girls continued on their way.


	2. Chapter 2

Kyle was a good liar, so it wasn’t too hard to convince his mom to let him stay home for the day.

He really didn’t want to go into school and have them say the shit they’d been messaging him right to his face.

He did get a message from Kylie: ‘managed to get the spare phone he was using, the fucker. I’ll come by at lunch, ok? We got this’

She was the best sister he could ever ask for.

.........

Kylie had barely opened her locker when she was approached.

“Kylie, why would he say those things?” Stan asked.

She didn’t say a word. Like Kyle, she had a real problem when it came to anger control, and it was barely staying down already.

Kenny sighed. “You have to talk to Kendra for me about this whole thing, she won’t listen.”

“I thought you didn’t like me,” Kylie pointed out in a sweet tone.

“Well....I don’t hate you-“

“Uh huh. I’m not talking to her for you,” the redhead interrupted, slamming her locker shut and heading off down the hall.

Stacy came stampeding over when she saw her cousin still trying to harass her best friend. “Back it up, Stan. I don’t want to have to give you a black eye.”

Kendra came round to Kylie’s other side to face off her own cousin. “You too, Ken. We don’t want to see you unless you’re going to apologise to Kyle.”

“Kylie,” Wendy started as she then arrived with Token, “did you see them?”

By this point she just started walking away, Stacy and Kendra quick to follow.

But unfortunately, there was nothing stopping the others.

“I don’t know what’s up with Kyle but that was not cool, the stuff he said,” Token said, and that was all he got out before the redhead started off again.

“He didn’t, the tweets are so clearly faked. This is a classic Cartman move and I can’t believe not even you, Wendy, can see that,” Kylie said.

Wendy scoffed. “You know what? This is just like that cyber bully-“

“I’m gonna stop you right there,” the redhead instantly turned around and got right in her face.

It was enough force to bring silence to them all.

“Kyle is not a cyber bully, he never was and never will be. He’s not perfect, he’s made mistakes, we all have, but he didn’t do this. I could see through that in a split second, and Eric Cartman’s twin sister managed to get his confession just this morning with the phone he used. So don’t you dare talk shit about my family ever again.”

And speaking of the Cartmans.....

“ERICA GIVE ME BACK MY FUCKING PHONE!”

The two came stomping into view and stopped right in the middle of the hallway.

“YOUR PHONE IS IN YOUR FUCKING HAND, I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT FROM ME!”

“Oh boy,” Kylie sighed, shaking her head at the sight.

“WHERE’S MY OTHER PHONE!?”

“THE PHONE YOU HACKED KYLE’S TWITTER THROUGH AND POSTED THOSE TWEETS!? WHY THE HELL SHOULD I TELL YOU!?”

“.....because we are family.”

Erica crossed her arms. “Apologise and own up to what you’ve done.”

“I haven’t done anything!” Eric kept insisting.

“Fine, then your phone’s getting destroyed,” she shrugged and walked off.

Silence.

“Butters! Butters I need your help!” Eric went stalking off.

“Tell me that isn’t suspicious,” Kylie said to Wendy, “and next time you talk to me, it better be after an apology to my brother.”

............

The spare phone was dropped off at lunch like she promised, and Kyle spent the rest of the afternoon at work with it.

And eventually, he found the exact evidence they were looking for.

‘You’re gonna love this’ he texted Kylie.

She responded: ‘knew you were right for the job’


	3. Chapter 3

Once Kylie had her hands of the evidence needed, she went to see PC Principal.

Extreme, but necessary. There had to be an assembly to crush the rumours once and for all and clear Kyle’s name.

The good thing was that she was well liked by the principal, probably because Vice Principal Strong Woman likes her as a babysitter for the adorable PC Babies.

So it wasn’t too hard to get in to see him.

“Kylie, please take a seat, how can I help you?”

“There’s a cyber bullying problem here in the school, sir. I’m afraid it’s gotten quite out of hand in the past few hours.”

“I am aware there has been an issue. Your brother Kyle Broflovski?”

“I’m afraid there’s been a misunderstanding, PC Principal. It was a set up and hack, the evidence is all in this folder.”

The principal took the folder from Kylie and looked through the contents of printed out screenshots and selfies (dumbass Eric) which had all the proof that the whole thing was the fat fuck.

“Thank you for bringing this to my attention, Kylie. I’m going to call a mandatory assembly in twenty minutes to announce this, alright? You may return to class.”

“Thank you, PC Principal.”

Text to Kyle: ‘should be all sorted now’

She got texted back: ‘best sister ever’

.......

The assembly was long, and loud.

Because PC Principal was very pissed off about the whole thing.

Especially when Kylie ratted out everyone who had went and cyber bullied Kyle in retaliation.

And then the redhead was given the stage herself.

“I saw the tweets last night when I got woken by my phone,” Kylie said, “and even when I was tired, I could see through it. Kyle wouldn’t say those things, but you hear Eric Cartman say those things every other day-“

The fat fuck screamed something about it not being true.

“Three weeks detention, Eric! We can go six weeks!” PC Principal warned.

He grumbled, but otherwise settled down.

“So maybe don’t believe everything you see,” Kylie concluded.

She left the stage.

.......

Kyle returned to school the next day, and Erica instantly yanked her brother over.

“Say it,” she demanded.

Eric sighed, like it was the hardest thing in the world.

“I’m sorry for hacking your Twitter, Kyle.”

Somehow, he found it in his heart to forgive him.

The spare phone was completely destroyed, though.

And he had six weeks of after-school detention to sit through.


End file.
